the jersey flu

I know I've been missing a while, but between all the rehearsals and the performance, I just barely made it through.  Sunday my body went on strike and I am sick.  Again.  And it's true what people say, the relapse is usually worse, so here I am, lymph nodes crazy swollen, throat inflamed beyond belief, and battling a fever that's been swinging between 100 and 104.  But there's another strange symptom this time around: New Jersey.  Yes, I think I have a Situation. 

 

more about jersey-itis after the jump

First sign of Jerseyitis was almost imperceptible; I downloaded one of the Stephanie Plum bounty hunter books by Janet Evonovich.  Excellent lite reading, these books are crime-fighting with humour, Jersey style, all decked out with big hair and lycra biking shorts.  I didn't think much of my decision though, because I've read these books before.  It was only later that a pattern started to emerge.

Here's the thing.  Confession time.  I love trashy tv.  I love mindless fluff.  Sometimes in order to really disconnect from a long hard day, you have to shut down the brain.  Alpha waves or something like that.  I swear, it's been scientifically proven.  That said, I've always drawn the line somewhere.  I don't know where, but it's always been this side of New Jersey.  (Is this when I start getting hate mail?).  But now, it's like I'm craving it.  I just can't get enough.

I can't honestly say how it started, I don't even remember downloading the first episode, which is what makes me think it was some weird virus-induced fever-driven out-of-body experience.  But somehow, I started watching Jersey Shore.  It is way trashier than anything I have ever watched before.  It is mind boggling.  It is shocking.  And I literally couldn't tear myself away.  I mean, look at these girls!

What the hell is this?  This is another world, people.  Another universe.  If you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about.  If you haven't, well, I'm not necessarily saying you should, I'm just saying once you start you might not be able to stop.

 

The girl with the ridiculous fake breasts there on the right is JWoWW, easily my favorite.  Especially when she just punched Mike The Situation in the face in Atlantic City and then says, all casual "ok, goodnight".  I kind of love the girl.

Ok.  So I watched all of season 1.  But then!  Then, I see myself, as if from above, seriously like an out of body experience, and I'm downloading episodes of The Real Housewives of New Jersey!

This is even better!  These ladies are awesome!  I find myself pausing it and running to tell my husband what just happened, it is that out of this world.  This is a show I can really get behind.  What is happening to me people?  Maybe once the fever breaks I'll come to my senses.  I will keep you all posted.  But if I start spraying my hair into a poof or get fake nails and a fake tan and fake boobs and cheap hair extensions, or join the mob, please, call someone, send help!